Although the term, Culture Shock is well know, there are conflicting theories put forward about the process, and ideas have changed over the years. One area of agreement is that the use of the word ‘shock’ is in fact a misnomer. A better term would be “Creeping Cultural Disorientation”  (doesn’t have the same ring though, does it ?) as it happens over a period of 3 to 6 to 9 months.  The idea of a shock of course comes with those moments of frustration that end in an outburst of tears or anger.
At the beginning the new arrival has a positive adrenalin rush. Thrilled with the novelty of their new and charming home, they often take on a lot of projects that don’t appear, on the surface to be difficult or time consuming. During the honeymoon stage, pigs on motorbikes are soooo cute and chickens crowing at the crack of dawn are rather quaint.

 

Anxiety follows with compulsive eating (or not) and drinking, staying alone, and we-they/us-them fills the conversation. WHY do THEY have to transport pigs on motorbikes anyhow ? WE don’t do that back home ! Do they have to crow at 5am ? The novelty has worn off. We ask ourselves, “What am I doing here?” The high hopes and expectations of the first weeks are dashed and a holiday is needed in order to re-evaluate goals. Hostility is manifested in different ways and imagined inadequacies, political, economic and cultural flaws are pointed at.

 

Rejection of cultural differences follows and includes a great deal of suspicion.  Pigs on a bike are stupid, that chicken would sure taste good after I’ve wrung it’s scrawny neck (with a smile on my face). The culture is flawed and communication becomes tiring. Some people – even after many years – never leave this phase.

 

The good news is that adaptation follows as we learn to accept ‘whatever’ occurs and life looks less bleak.

Solutions to these stages differ from person to person but the adjustment to living ‘biculturally’ is possible. Some people even do better in foreign countries – they’re called eccentrics back home.

 

SOLUTIONS

Gather information  – be a tourist again. Read about the history and learn a few famous, contemporary names in music (who actually is Elvis Phuong ? www.vietscape.com/music/singers ) or sport to allow you to enter into a conversation. Find out how the national football team is doing. (The men have their ups and downs but the women – she said smugly – have always topped their league) Volunteer.

 

Letting off steam in unmailed letters is another method of overcoming the frustration and depression.

 

Learn the language – at least to say good morning to all the ubiquitous tea stall ladies or xe-oms. Your effort to speak Vietnamese sends an important message to the host nationals.
“I’m not a language learner”, you say. So how can you read this ?
“I don’t DO tones”, you say. Necessity is the mother of invention. Need to find a toilet fast. NO ONE speaks English ? Bet you do tones then !
Force your self. It’s uncomfortable but – head out to the hinterlands and have a stab at it. If nothing else you can feel virtuous that you’ve entertained a whole village with your hilarious attempts at communication. (they may not have TV so you’re IT). Congratulate yourself and imagine what a threat you are now to Oprah.

There are only two steps to learning a new language -

1)     start
2)     continue

 

Settle in. Buy what you need to make your house a home. Make a ‘home corner’ with personal memorabilia, photos, stuffed koalas/moose/kiwi/prairie dogs, a flag, beer coaster from your neighbourhood pub back home and post newspaper cuttings from your hometown newspaper.

 

Build up habits – coffee every Wednesday or movies every Sunday afternoon. Treat yourself to apple pie or a ‘luxury’ 30,000 dong hair wash. Frequent the same newsstand, tea stall, flower seller or restaurant in your area in order to become a resident. Start a new hobby. The district Cau Lac Bo’s (clubs) have classes in painting, dance (hip hop to tango), tennis, music and tai chi. Join. Most of these classes don’t need any knowledge of the language and they’re dirt cheap.

 

Keep a journal and start with one positive incident and end with one positive incident, no matter how small. The writing in between can be as depressing as you like.

 

Find people who have a specialized knowledge of the country and can introduce you to Cheo Theatre or archeology or food. Chose friends who are inspired by the challenges – avoid whiners. Find positive people who have adapted and as your life becomes stable you will become the support system for new arrivals.

 

And from Steve, a VSO at KOTO -
…. like all the times at KOTO when the moment becomes overwhelming, it’s only later that I try to put in context my emotions.
And the emotion isn’t sadness. It’s not quite happiness either. To best explain it I think I would have to say it’s the process of being humbled.
The KOTO kids are a reflection of the country they are from. They’ve had it tough. They’ve had to fight. They’ve given their all and worked hard without complaints. And somehow they have turned out magnificently.
It is that which is truly humbling.”

….and don’t forget to

 

Laugh !

 

RESOURCES

 

Culture Shock. A Guide to Customs and Etiquette
Ellis, Claire
Times Books International, 1995

 

Culture Shock, A Parent’s Guide
Pascoe, Robin
Times Books International, 1999

 

Does and Don’ts: Vietnam
Potvin, Claude & Stedman, Nicholas
Book Promotion and Service Co, 2005

 

Simple Guide to Vietnamese Customs and Etiquette (The)
Murray, G
Global Books, 1997

 

WEBSITES

 

www.Expatexchange.com  
www.Expatfocus.com
www.Expatexpert.com
www.Expatnetwork.com

 

19/09/08